Dealing with difficult people as Christians
AS Christians we should try to get along with the people around us.
That does not mean we have to always agree with them, but we also should not intentionally look for opportunities to anger and upset people.
Romans 12:18 tells us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” The verse does not say it will always be possible, but we should try.
Speak with respect
Disagreements and misunderstandings will happen in life, but this is not an excuse to disrespect others. The Bible tells us that we should speak to others with love, even if we have to deal strongly with them. Love and respect should be our guide. Our speech should be kind but firm when necessary.
Ephesians 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”
Christian ways to deal with difficult people
Maybe the best way to sum this all up is to deal with people in love. Love the unsaved in such a way that they will want to know more about your God. Follow the pattern in Matthew 18 There is a distinct pattern given in Matthew 18 for dealing with a problem.
I believe this is primarily talking about dealing with problems among believers, but it can be applied in many situations.
First you go privately to the one with whom the problem is. Secondly, you take a couple of people with you so that you can establish the facts and that it is no longer a “he said, she said” argument.
Finally, if you cannot resolve the issue then bring it to the attention of the authorities. Again, these verses are talking about the authority of the church, but it could also be applied to your office situation.
Matthew 18:15-17 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglects to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.”
Along the lines of this, remember that there is safety in a multitude of counsellors. Find people to talk with about the problem. Sometimes you need to walk away Sometimes it is better to walk away from an argument than to continue to dwell on it. This is not liberty to walk away from everything. There are things worth fighting for. But then there are things that just are not worth your time and allowing them to spoil your own relationship with the Lord.
You have to allow the Lord to give you direction on how to deal with different problems. After David was anointed king, but before he took the throne, he had to deal with Saul. God had already rejected Saul from being king over Israel. David realised that was a fight between Saul and God.
David allowed God to fight on his behalf. This is the same man who years before stood up for God and fought on behalf of God when facing Goliath. David had wisdom on knowing when it was time to fight and when it was time to walk away and allow God to handle the problem.
1 Samuel 24:10.” This day you have seen with your own eyes how the LORD delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the LORD’s anointed.”
Their argument may not be with you
Sometimes a person will take out their frustration and anger on you when you are not really the problem. It does not make you feel any better, but it may keep you from carrying a burden that is not really yours to carry. You may represent something (Christianity, God, authority) that they do not like. Try not to take the argument and conflict personally.
The Hebrew people said to Samuel that he was too old to be their leader. They wanted a king who could go out to war and fight with them. Samuel felt pretty bad about the situation. He went to God depressed and complaining. God replied that the people were not angry with Samuel but they were angry with God. They were just taking out their frustrations on the prophet.
Examine yourself
Before we can effectively deal with the problems in others, we must take care of ourselves. Matthew 7 gives an illustration that may seem silly, but it talks about human nature.
The idea is that someone with a large piece of wood sticking out of their eye is criticising another person who has a speck of dust in theirs.
The one with the large piece of wood tries to ignore their own problem while dealing with the problems of others. Do not be that person. Go to God and deal with your own