Holding Hope Together: the Story of Nathan and Haley Stegelmann
PLYMOUTH — Nathan and Haley (Church) Stegelmann went on their first date on april 1, 2022. By Black Friday of that same year Nathan asked Haley to be his wife. They were married on april 1, 2023, in angola, Indiana. Seven months later, on the Monday after Thanksgiving, Nathan was diagnosed with ALS. Now they are on a journey of a lifetime as they hold on to hope together and walk alongside each other through their triumphs and trials with deep devotion and the help of God, family, friends, and community.
Though Nathan and Haley are now residents of Plymouth with a home on Pretty Lake Golf Course, they both grew up spending time in angola. Nathan went to Goshen High School while Haley attended angola High School. Their grandparents both had lake houses that were located just a few miles away from each other. Despite many opportunities to cross paths, Nathan and Haley would not meet until years later.
after High School Nathan went to work in construction. He is currently employed at ancon Construction in Elkhart. Haley went on to study education and is the art Department Chair at Plymouth High School.
They met through an online dating app in their thirties. Their first date was in South Bend where they originally planned to have dinner at the Crooked Ewe. It was too crowded for conversation, so Haley asked to go somewhere else. She was nervous how Nathan would respond to that, but he was happy to accommodate her request and they decided on Fatbird Eatery.
The couple connected immediately. “We felt we were a walking miracle. We clicked immediately,” said Haley. Nathan proposed to Haley on Black Friday at Lake Gage in angola, a place very special to both of them. Everyone was surprised by his proposal. She was impressed he was able to keep it a secret. Just a few months later Thanksgiving weekend would again hold lifelong impact for them as the young couple faced unexpected hardship with Nathan’s diagnosis of ALS; more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. ALS is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. ALS is very rare with approximately 5,000 people in the U.S. diagnosed every year.
Prior to his diagnosis Haley said family members observed a limp. at a strong 6’6” Nathan often sauntered when he walked so, she really didn’t think that much of it. It was in September when he fell that she knew something was wrong and became concerned. Nathan was always athletic. He had even played college basketball at Valparaiso University. They called Nathan’s brother who is a doctor and in residency for Orthopedic Surgery. He recommended his brother see a neurologist.
They first made an appointment with
Nathan’s primary care physician and proceeded with tests and appointments. ALS can be difficult to diagnose because it is a process of eliminating other possibilities. For Nathan and Haley, the tests quickly made it clear his diagnosis would be ALS.
With no known cure for ALS at this time and no specific treatment methods; care is given to enhance quality of life. Nathan sees an ALS Specialist - Neurologist in Ft. Wayne every three months. His entire care team is located at the ALS Clinic which gives them access to his entire team of medical professionals in one location. While the visit is longer, it reduces how many trips they have to make to Ft. Wayne with the benefits of coordinated care.
Nathan’s muscles will fire and contract repeatedly which will cause increased twitching until the pathway burns and ceases to function. Over time ALS will impact his speech, his ability to walk and his breathing. The typical life expectancy of someone diagnosed with ALS is three to five years. Each journey is unique; Nathan and Haley know that time is ultimately in God’s hands.
As Haley prayerfully considered how to share the news with friends on social media, Matthew 11:28 came to her heart. “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”. It was important to both Nathan and Haley to share hope through their hardship. Nathan emphasized the need to remain positive in the midst of their challenge. He is thankful for his wife, her devotion, and all the kind people who are standing by them through their struggle. “We think that we have hard things that we’re going through, but I look at him and I think wow, you’re being very strong for what’s being taken away from you. And he’s still being positive,” Haley said.
As Nathan and Haley navigate Nathan’s diagnosis and the transitions that need to take place in terms of a vehicle and home renovations, they are facing many hurdles. It is hard for them to ask for help, but they find themselves in great financial need.
Nathan and Haley are organizing a fun walk / 5K run - “Steps for Stegs” which will be held on Sunday, May 5 at 2 p.m. Proceeds from registration and donations will help the young couple purchase an Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) accessible van, wheelchair, and home renovations that will be necessary to accommodate Nathan’s changing needs. The event will be held rain or shine at the Plymouth High School with the route through Centennial Park.
Food Trucks begin serving at noon. This is also when registration opens.
“We encourage people to arrive early and enjoy being together,” Haley said.
There is a fun run for kids around the track at 2 p.m. and then the main Steps for Stegs event will take off at 2:30 p.m.
For those who do not want to run or walk, fellowship is welcome. “It’s more about coming together and being supportive. If you want a timed 5K you have that option but if you just want to come and be supportive, we also tried to provide that option. Please don’t let the distance deter,” Haley said. Volunteers can help register people for the event. Any donation of time, energy and resources will be appreciated.
As the event draws near people have been challenged to participate in and record the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. The challenge is to raise awareness, share about the event and encourage people to register for the walk / run or donate. Nathan and Haley laughed while watching the videos together. “Just to see people’s hearts on display is really encouraging,” Haley said.
Asking for help is outside Nathan and Haley’s comfort zone. As news of Nathan’s diagnosis spread people wanted to help. The event provides a tangible way to show support, make a donation, and share love. The walk / run is symbolic because Nathan is slowly losing his ability to walk.
One of the registrants shared that they too have an ALS diagnosis and are wheelchair bound. He will be in attendance to support Nathan. “It's just kind. We would have never met them but now they are in our lives. The encouragement that they can offer is really kind. We want to be like that to other people just in the midst of despair,” Haley said.
People who have known Nathan and Haley for years and complete strangers have joined the effort. “It’s cool to see someone that you haven’t talked to in a long time all of a sudden do something kind for you. It is also neat to be like, I’ve never talked to this person and they’re jumping in a freezing cold lake or dumping cold water on them.”
Administration, staff and students at PHS have been very supportive of Haley and Nathan. Before taking her position at the High School Haley worked at the Elementary School. Connections with those teachers and students remain strong. This year’s seniors were in kindergarten, her first year of teaching. These kids have come full circle, and their support is greatly appreciated.
Class Officers at PHS have helped Haley share the message. The students were eager to help Haley communicate about the event. She explained to them how hard it is to lead while grieving but be moved at the same time at the power of people coming together to support one another in times of need. The experience was bittersweet.
The focus of Nathan and Haley’s message has been hope in spite of challenge. They find great comfort in the support they have been given by the community. “A lot of it comes down to when you have your hope stripped away, where do you find your hope? I think it’s been really encouraging to see people gather around us. Even when they don’t have an answer, they’ve at least been incredibly kind,” Haley said.
Nathan wants people to know that life is still good. Haley said this is hard to believe, but she agrees; life is still good. In the midst of a life changing diagnosis the couple is grateful for the love of a lifetime that they found in each other. “You can focus on the shattered dreams but also, we feel like we’ve experienced so much love and happiness within knowing each other and we’re really grateful to have that time. Not everybody has that relationship or has that time or feels the love that we’ve been able to feel in our lifetime,” Haley said.
Haley described Nathan as quick witted and funny with a servant leader’s heart. “I think he’s a really good shepherd to people. He’s in a supervisory role and I think he just does a good job at mentoring people.” Nathan is accustomed to being the biggest, strongest man in the room. It is challenging for him to be losing some of his physical strength, but his spirit remains strong.
Nathan and Haley were able to laugh again. In the midst of their tragedy, it is important to them to embrace a sense of “normalcy”. They have made an effort to plan special events and embrace the beauty of daily life.
Nathan still likes basketball and enjoyed watching March Madness this season. He is an IU basketball fan, so they tried to go to a couple games. He even rooted for Purdue in the National Championship.
They went on a trip to Spain over Haley’s Spring Break which was a bucket list experience for them.
Nathan enjoys fishing and they plan to spend time at Pretty Lake and Lake Gage this summer.
They enjoy playing Euchre with Nathan’s parents. They are looking forward to spending more time making memories this summer. “I think just spending time together, that’s what helps us feel like our relationship is just meant to be. It doesn’t matter what we do, we just enjoy being together,” Haley said.
Nathan and Haley traveled to the path of totality to see the total solar eclipse. In the same way you cannot fully explain an eclipse without experiencing it, she knows that people will not fully understand their journey but hopes to encourage people along the way.
Despite their challenges, the couple rely on their faith in God and Jesus to see them through. “I’m grateful that faith is important to us. I think our faith has been helpful throughout this whole process,” Haley said.
Their faith in Jesus remains an anchor. “It’s been grounding, but also hard. I don’t know how people can go through life without having a glimmer of hope in Jesus. That’s the one thing we are clinging to,” Haley said.
Nathan and Haley are so grateful for all the support and the creative Ice Bucket Challenge videos. Please do not forget to register online for the event or make a donation as this is a critical component to raising enough funds to purchase the van and meet other financial needs as they navigate this journey together.
The first order for shirts has already been placed. A second order will be placed on April 24. It is important to get registered by that deadline to be guaranteed a shirt on the day of the event.
Please go to https://shorturl.at/bogq5.
The link to register can also be found on Haley’s Facebook page @ Haley Church Stegelmann.
At the time of writing this article the fundraiser had raised $77,530 of the $100,000 goal.
“Thank you to the many people who have been kind. We don’t have the answer for why, but we’re at least grateful for the people who have been loving,” Haley said.