THE DAILY COMMUTER
Dear Abby: I’ve been dating a man for 4 years. He’s 56; I’m 60. I hope for a life with him, marriage, a place of our own, etc. The only obstacle is his obligation to look after his aging parents and help them stay in their home, which he promised them years ago.
At first, I was OK waiting for him to finish with them and looking forward to a time for us. I tried to help. I even moved into his parents’ home with the three of them, as I am a certified home care aide, but his mother was impossible. Even though it was her idea that I move in, it became obvious that she didn’t want my help with anything. She even banned me from “her” kitchen.
I spent six months there, sleeping in my own room, separated from my love, because in their world, if you’re not married and you’re having sex, you’re a sinner who’s going to hell. Of course, we were having sex discreetly, but apparently not discreetly enough, because his mother was absolutely certain we were having sex in her house against her rules.
Abby, it was a nightmare. There was more involved, but I was ultimately turned out of the house with no notice. LONG story short: I don’t know if I can wait much longer for the life with him I want. Who knows how long this will go on. I’m losing faith it will ever work out. – Restless In Washington
Dear Restless: You and your boyfriend are adults and entitled to a sex life if you want one. That he allowed his controlling mother to “turn you out of the house with no notice” (!) and couldn’t find the courage to enlighten her that if you left, he would be out of there, too, should have been the wakeup call you needed to move on.
Four and a half years has been long enough to wait. If you want the life you describe, your chances will be far better if you continue looking for a man who is available, because this one clearly isn’t.
Dear Abby: My son married a girl from Taiwan. She’s sweet but very uncultured. I have tried for more than 10 years to get along with her, but it has been very hard. We have nothing in common except my son.
She doesn’t cook very often, or clean or do laundry. Her English is terrible. She dresses poorly, has no interest in her home and celebrates no holidays. We are never invited to dinner. We always entertain them. They have no children.
Our relationship with our son is strong, but I have grown to dislike her. She does very little for him. Her interest in saving money at the expense of any enjoyment is sad. I don’t know what to do. – Disappointed In Texas
Dear Disappointed: OK, so she’s not your ideal daughter-in-law. Your son married this woman for a reason. The question is, does she make HIM happy? If the answer is yes, devote your energy to focusing on that rather than your negative feelings about her. And when you entertain them, rather than do it grudgingly, remember you are doing it for HIM. (And smile.)
ACROSS
1 Story from Aesop 6 One-pot dinner
dish
10 Shady deal 14 Self-evident truth 15 Way to go 16 Suffix with “hard”
or “soft”
17 Rich cake 18 Beehive style,
e.g.
19 Humorist
Bombeck 20 Lasted
22 2,000 pounds: 2
wds.
24 Actor Mineo 25 Musicians like Kendrick Lamar: 2 wds. 27 Contribute to the
mix
30 Black or red
candy
32 Off the wall 34 “Delish!”
35 Not wearing anything 6DQWD·V KHOSHUV 40 NYC transit organization: Abbr.
41 Author Fielding 42 Eating regimen 43 Recycle __ 44 More unusual 45 Bucharest native 49 Need to repay 50 Light-brown beer:
2 wds.
53 Male cat 55 Dishes with leafy
greens 56 End-of-sentence
dots
60 Petty quarrel 61 Masking __ 64 Gold bar 65 Otherwise 66 Looks over 67 Like Thor and
Odin
68 __ off (annoyed) 69 Monthly housing
expense
70 Say hi to
DOWN
1 Destiny
2 Neural transmitter 3 Parrot or
partridge 4 Seated yoga
pose
5 Green gems 6 Tater
7 Fixture at a pub 8 Airport posting:
Abbr.
9 Oscar winner
Goldberg 10 Added sugar to 11 Magna __ .QLJKW·V protection 13 Ways and __ 21 Former QB
Manning 23 Policy group in
DC: Abbr. 25 Everyday
procedure 26 Designer Giorgio 27 Filled with
wonder 28 Sandwich shop 29 Seedy bar 31 Drum kit part 33 Fell back 36 Counteract 37 Doodled 38 “Jane __” (Brontë
novel)
41 Paying tribute to 46 Chicago airport
code
47 Maven
48 Had some food 50 Good thing to
have
51 Syrup flavor 52 World-weary 54 Underage person 56 Annoyance 57 Fairy tale
monster 58 Medicinal amount
(GLWRU·V FRPPHQW 62 Yes vote 63 Writing
implement