We taste-tested fast food french fries – in France
Wendy’s, McDonald’s, Burger King — if there’s one thing Americans love, it’s fast food. Imagine tangy Chick-fil-A sauce dripping over a crispy chicken patty, or a hefty layer of mayo melting into a juicy Smashburger. And, at Cinnabon? Don’t even get me started on the way the icing oozes from the center of a fresh-baked roll.
When you think of fast food on a whim, however, all of those euphoric $6 bites take the backseat to the industry’s most iconic side dish: the french fry.
So, if fast food is one of the most delicious food genres — and french fries are the king of fast food — then fast food french fries in France (or Belgium, but we’ll save that for another time) should be one of the most irresistible delicacies on the planet, right? Maybe.
Here’s what I thought of the fast food fries in France.
● McDonald’s. McDonald’s France has two varieties of fries; the frites (which look exactly like the standard McDonald’s fries) and the wedges (which resemble wedge-cut fries with an orange exterior). Neither were great. To start, the frites were spitting images of the beloved American version of the dish — but only on the outside. When I tasted them, they were bland, salt-less and incredibly soggy. On a scale from 110, I’d give them a two. The wedges were a bit better, because I opted to have them topped with cheese and bacon (which helped fix the salt problem), but the texture was equally terrible. Starchy and wet, they tasted like those diner baked potatoes that you only order out of obligation. FRY SCORE: 2.5/10 (2 for the frites, 3 for the wedges).
● Burger King. Though I thought Burger King — as an overall restaurant — was better than the McDonald’s of France, these might have been the worst thing I have ever eaten. In my life. Ever.
Just as flavorless as the McDonald’s version, these fries were devoid of salt, seasoning or any sign of human love. The most egregious part of each piece, however, was how a portion of the potato mysteriously seemed to evaporate from their middles. Texturally, then, the fries were like the middle school chicken nuggets that hissed when you bit into them — hard on the outside, and full of air on the inside. FRY SCORE: 1/10.
● KFC. In America, these would suck. But, in France? They weren’t that bad. I got a small fry, which came out hot and fresh. Each spud in the bag had some potato skin on the ends, which was a pleasant surprise from a chain that’s about as far from farm-fresh as one possibly could be. And, unlike those of competing restaurants, the fries were actually somewhat seasoned. Would I take more salt? Yes. But the crispy outside and perfect thickness still convinced me to crush a solid handful (just not a whole order). FRY SCORE: 5.5/10.
● Five Guys. I had high hopes for these when I received them in their grease-stained brown bag. Goldenbrown, warm and dusted with salt, I was sure they would be the best of the bunch. Looks (and heat) don’t necessarily translate to taste, though, as the first bite had me convinced I’d sunk my teeth into a cafeteria smiley fry. Despite the blanket of powder sitting on top of the order, the fries — like McD’s and the King’s — were virtually salt-less and uncomfortably soggy. And, even though they were warm when I got them? They hit room temperature in thirty seconds tops (and progressed to get even colder). The fries get points for that aforementioned grease, though, because I like my food messy. FRY SCORE: 4/10.
The takeaway
Anyone who says fast food is better in Europe? Clearly hasn’t been to France. So, make sure — when you book a trip to Lyon, Marseille or the beachy coasts of Nice — to indulge in the finest camembert and tarte tatin the region has to offer. Because McDonald’s, I promise, is
not the move.