‘I love sharing my life with someone special’
Katrina Robinson, 59, is a library assistant and writer who has a blog, Part 2 of Your (Love?) Life. She lives in Oxford with her husband Tim, 62.
‘That’s it, life’s over,’ I told friends when my divorce came through in 2006. I was
41, had married in my 20s and believed whatever problems we faced, we’d work through them and be together for the rest of our lives. It was a huge shock when my husband said he’d met someone else. It knocked my confidence and belief in life for a long time. I thought all chances of happiness had gone.
Once our divorce was through, I had to learn how to be social again. I’m quite a homebody, so I had to push myself, cheer myself on and remind myself that I was friendly and likeable.
Having focused on my husband, I had to find how to relate to men again as a single person. I’d never had lots of boyfriends as a teenager – I was a bit of a late starter – and wondered if I’d ever meet anyone else. I wanted to – I’m a big fan of marriage and liked the idea of sharing my life with someone. I knew it might take 10 years, and it nearly did.
The internet was taking off and was brilliant for finding meetup groups and events. I was careful about picking dating sites – choosing more specialist ones. I even joined a gym to get used to being in a more male environment, as a lot of my social life is heavily populated by women.
I dated one man for a couple of years, but it didn’t work out. I met with some walking groups and picked one that covered a
10K route, thinking that it was more likely to appeal to male walkers.
That’s where I met Tim, who was divorced too. I was with someone else at the time but remember thinking what a lovely smile he had. We met again at another group when we were both single. He told me he sensed something had passed between us as we talked, and we started seeing each other in 2014.
We hit it off immediately. When I heard how he had moved his widowed, elderly and incapacitated mother to live with him for two years, I was impressed by his character. How many men would do that?
We got engaged in 2015 and married the following year, and have just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. We have common interests like eating out and travelling, but also enjoy doing our own things.
My divorce gave me real heart for people who find themselves alone after having trusted someone. It inspired me to start my own blog encouraging other midlife people with ideas and things that helped me as I navigated dating and rebuilt my life. I tell them, ‘Your romantic life doesn’t have to be over.’
It took me a while, you have to take chances and take yourself outside your comfort zone, but you can find love again. I have so much to thank that walking group for.
‘You have to take chances’