SAYING GOODBYE TO A STRANGER
Fear you’ll be shamed for mourning a celebrity? Here’s how to manage.
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DON’T DEVALUE YOUR GRIEF You may feel awkward about feeling bereft over a celebrity’s death, but denying your feelings will only make you feel worse. ‘Grief is grief, regardless of who or what you are grieving – we can
grieve dreams, lost treasured items, life stages,’ says Anna. ‘Feeling shame around your grief may prevent you from reaching out, but be aware that any previous mental health vulnerabilities can be stirred up. This is normal and, therefore, it’s important to monitor how you feel so that you can seek support.’ Be honest with yourself and those you trust, and admit that you’re struggling.
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CONNECT WITH ‘REAL-LIFE’ PEOPLE
Avoid the naysayers! Noel suggests not talking to anyone you feel may mock you. ‘Self-protection is key,’ he says. Instead, focus on friends and family who you know to be sympathetic. ‘While you may feel misunderstood by some close to you, everyone can relate to a sense of loss or grief in some respect, so ensure that you have relationships in which your grief is validated and understood, be it online or offline,’
adds Anna. ‘Consider ways to build
more enjoyable experiences around
this grief – while a friend may not fully
understand your feelings, they may be able to engage in an enjoyable
activity with you.’
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LIMIT COMMUNAL SHARING ‘While it can be affirming and comforting, witnessing a vast outpouring of parasocial grief can intensify feelings,’ says Anna. ‘You’ll certainly not be alone in your sadness and pain, but it might help to set a time restriction around how much you scroll through forums or commemorative
pages.’
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HAVE A MOURNING RITUAL
Death rituals have been around since time immemorial, and can help us to acknowledge our grief, and honour those we cared about. ‘Some examples are going to a special place you associate with the person and laying flowers for them; writing a letter to them and burning it to allow the symbolic transformation of matter to another state; or seeking spiritual guidance, such as lighting candles in church,’ says Noel. ‘Search the internet for examples of mourning
rituals.’
5
REACH OUT FOR HELP
Still struggling? ‘Grief takes time but its intensity should fade after a few months,’ says Noel. If you continue to experience symptoms such as low mood or anxiety, you may have become depressed, so see your GP. ‘I’d highly recommend therapy in order to be supported through grief and explore what might be interrupting the grief process,’ adds Anna. ‘Grief and loss trigger other experiences of grief and loss.
If you feel like your feelings are more than you expected, it may be
that your loss has exacerbated
feelings around other losses you
have experienced.’
‘Ensure that you have
relationships in which your grief
is validated and understood’