The Press and Journal (Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire)
Why is this flying pestilence worth high-level protection?
Nuisance gulls ought to be nesting on cliffs and not our rooftops
It’s half-past five on a Sunday morning as I type these words… and I’m angry.
Because I should still be in my golden slumbers for my last lie-in of the weekend, instead I’m wide awake courtesy of the nuisance neighbours I am forced to share my building with.
The noise they are making is unbearable, without any let-up, and it started about half an hour ago. And I swear they are playing five-a-side football with rocks up there.
What’s that you say? Call in the authorities? Get a restraining order? Demand their eviction? Unfortunately, none of that would work because these raucous rabble-rousers are untouchable. They are protected by law.
Just because they are gulls.
And I’m not the only one who has to suffer the blight of noise, nuisance and mess from this flying pestilence.
There isn’t a community in the northeast – and further afield – that isn’t invaded by hordes of the things, screeching, dive-bombing, and spraying all available surfaces with stinking ordure.
There are too many places where people live work and play that are more like a seaside cliff, caked in guano – which is where the damn things should be.
I still can’t understand why gulls are a protected species. I mean, it’s not like there’s any shortage of them, is there?
There’s plenty around when you try to sit down to eat your toastie and chips somewhere outside. It’s like ringing a dinner gong for avian attackers.
And there are more than a few folk nursing injuries caused by direct strikes from the swooping marauders. The things are dangerous, so why are they tolerated?
At this precise moment – 20 minutes since I started typing and I can barely hear myself think – I would very much like to take to the roof with a lightsabre and sort things out. But I never would. You need to be humane in your approach to all living creatures.
So how about making sure they don’t get that far by dealing with the nests before the eggs are in situ? Because you Rules, yeah?
It was only recently I discovered it takes a special licence from the authorities to remove their nests, as opposed to some entrepreneurial spirit, a ladder and a broom.
And NatureScot has more rules and restrictions around nest removal than it takes to launch a nuclear missile because gulls are, you know, protected.
Which brings me back to my question. Why? Surely to bring nature back into balance we should be making life for urban gulls as hard as possible to encourage them back to where they should be – the clue being in the name, seagulls.
A golden rule of the eco creed is the need to be respectful when humans enter the areas that other species see as home. That needs to cut both ways. Gulls are on our turf. It’s time to turf them out.
PUTTING ABERDEEN IN THE PICTURE
Soran Xurmale is a true Aberdeen hero who should get his own parade through the city centre so we can all stand and cheer what he has done for the Granite City.
This is the chap who left Iraq as a refugee, fleeing Saddam Hussein’s brutal regime and bloodshed and now calls Aberdeen home.
More than that, he is now capturing our city in stunning photographs on the Facebook group, Aberdeen in Colour, bringing out the beauty and the majesty of the cityscape in images that are truly remarkable.
What Soran is doing is showing us the Aberdeen he sees, through his eyes and his lens.
And it is a glorious thing, as is his clear passion and love for the place he has chosen to call home. He wants everyone to connect with it “sparking curiosity and appreciation”.
It is such an antidote to those who have lived here all their days, never ventured foot elsewhere – let alone lived the life Soran has lived – but see nothing but doom and gloom in Aberdeen and are quick to mouth off about it.
Soran, though, touches on the real nature of Aberdeen and the vast majority of its people, the warmth of the welcome he has been given, the way he has been made to feel at home. Because he is.
That is the Aberdeen he loves. That is the Aberdeen we should all love. And thank you, Soran, for being a beacon of light and hope to remind us of that.
MACHINE-MADE CUSTOMER SERVICE
When it comes to customer service, the personal touch is king. You need to exude warmth, understanding and true appreciation of your customers, even when they are getting in touch to point out a problem with something.
I recently had an issue with a major hotel chain.
I won’t bore you with details but even the lovely receptionist agreed it was something I should email in a complaint over.
Three weeks later I got my reply – in an email clearly generated by ChatGPT that resolved zippity doo-da.
Nothing says sorry like having a machine do it for you, eh?
It takes a special licence from the authorities to remove their nests