The Press and Journal (Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire)
Oh what a circus, oh what a show for north-east town
Trouble: There’s plenty to look forward to with a beer festival and Big Top on their way – but an Orange march is hundreds of bowler hats too many
I do enjoy a good circus and now three have set their sights on Stonehaven.
One is an actual circus, Zippos, and that will be at Baird Park in July.
Another is a Belgian microbrewery called De Circus Brouwerij which will be a newcomer to the Midsummer Beer Happening in June.
The third is a proposed Orange walk on March 16 involving more than 200 people being bussed in from other parts of Scotland to take part.
All three events involve music, interesting costumes and their fair share of spectators.
I’m all for the beer thing, that sounds great, sitting out on a summer’s day with friends, enjoying a frosty jar or two.
It’s being twinned with the International Streekbierenfestival in Flanders and three breweries from Belgium will be heading to Stoney with their best beverages.
I’ll also be thrilled to watch those dare-devil trapeze artists and motorbike acrobats in the Big Top.
Call me a philistine but I’m not as keen on watching a bunch of grim-faced blokes in bowler hats marching to a cemetery on a Saturday afternoon.
NO GLOW STICKS AT ORANGE WALK
As an Edinburgh Festival Fringe fan, I’ve turned up to some strange shows in my time, but as far as Orange processions go, I can’t find a five-star review for any of them.
It all sounds a bit dull and I wondered if they could liven things up by making it more of an interactive event.
However, I have it on good authority that audience participation is not to be encouraged.
On the other hand, Zippos encourages people to join in and there’s a chance to buy a glow stick in the interval.
As far as I can tell, the only fluorescent items at the parade would be highviz vests but only the Orange Order stewards get to wear those, so where’s the fun in that?
The main advantage the proposed walk seems to have over Zippos and the Beer Happening is that it’s a free event, so that’s good of them, what with the cost-of-living crisis and all.
SERIOUS ISSUE
I jest of course about a serious matter that is currently vexing much of the population of a peaceful and picturesque north-east town.
The petition urging councillors to prevent the march from going ahead had gained more than 7,500 signatures within days of it being set up.
This is in a town of 11,060 residents at last count, and while not all signatories will be from within Stonehaven, it gives some context to the strength of feeling around this issue.
Aberdeen Central MSP Kevin Stewart pointed out that the north-east of Scotland has no tradition of such marches.
He warned the walk could be so disruptive and cause such stress among residents it might “force people to leave the town”.
I would leave town if I thought I’d be able to cross the road or move my car in a place already swamped with weekend traffic without a fleet of coaches adding to that.
Those with long memories may recall trouble flaring at an Orange march in Aberdeen in 1987.
ANGRY PROTEST
It would be 14 years before another was held in the city and police had to lock 60 protesters inside a public bar for an hour after trouble erupted again.
Obviously there are worse ordeals than being stuck in the pub for an hour; a soft-play warehouse I once had to endure for an afternoon without earphones springs to mind.
Had they locked them into that, I’m sure we would have seen sparks fly and we might have understood if some had tried to make a run for it.
After all, we all sympathised with Honshu the monkey who led everyone on a merry dance when he escaped from Highland Wildlife Park in January.
This week the Japanese macaque was transferred to Edinburgh Zoo after he caused “too much trouble” to be accepted back by his old troop.
He is moving to the capital with his new friends, the three other male monkeys he has been living with since he was caught.
I’m sure he’ll have a great time in the capital and no doubt he’ll think twice about going on the run again once he sees the price of an Edinburgh taxi fare.
The petition had gained more than 7,500 signatures within days