Why does my daughter seem to be avoiding me after she got married?
My daughter got married over Christmas last year and since then, I’ve only seen her about four times, and each time it was only ever for a quick coffee. She tells me that to make ends meet she’s had to set up a small home-business on top of a full-time job that also needs long hours. She’s also said that after keeping their flat straight, she’s got very little free time left. Her husband is equally busy it seems.
I don’t understand how that can be true. I know they have a cleaner, so keeping their new flat straight can’t take up that much of her time. She also finds time to help at a local food bank. Her husband is much the same. He works freelance but can do this whenever he likes, which can’t be too often because he still finds time to work on his motorbike and do most of the cooking. So, I know he’s got plenty of time to bring her to visit.
“I’ve only seen her about four times, and each time it was only ever for a quick coffee
I call her mobile phone regularly, but it seems to always go straight to a messaging service. It seems to me that she is avoiding me, and I just don’t understand her attitude.
She’s a busy newlywed
Making generational comparisons like this is rarely fair. It’s a very different world today, with very different work and life pressures.
And I don’t think you are being ignored. Your daughter has only been married for about four months so, by my rudimentary maths, she’s seen you about once a month.
You also seem to have regular contact by mobile phone. I don’t know how often you saw or spoke to each other before, but this sounds far from being ignored.
Try not to blame her or be upset about the changed relationship you now have with her – it was inevitable when she got married.
Write to Fiona Caine c/o Hollie Busby, The News, Technopole, Kingston Crescent, North End, Portsmouth, PO2 8FA or hollie.busby@nationalworld.com Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.