The Daily Telegraph - Features
‘He abused me, but I never lost my faith’
Christian music superstar Matt Redman speaks for the first time about joining the controversial Soul Survivor church at 13, and his ordeal at the hands of disgraced preacher Mike Pilavachi.
“Looking back on it, I don’t feel great about that, I didn’t feel good at the time. I didn’t really like physical touch that much because of what happened to me.”
Matt Redman, the double Grammy Award-winning Christian music superstar, speaks slowly and calmly as he finally reveals the truth about his relationship with his former mentor, Rev Canon Mike Pilavachi.
This is the man with whom he has appeared side by side on stages around the world in front of tens of thousands of fans, with whom he founded the landmark Soul Survivor movement and festivals – known as “the Christian Glastonbury” – and whom he has known since he was 13.
Pilavachi, the captivating, magnetic preacher, was revered as the UK’s most successful and charismatic evangelical leader – until last year when The Telegraph unmasked him as an abuser.
The investigation, which has been unfolding since April 2023, revealed how the 66-year-old former vicar, who was renowned for his “direct dial to God” and who travelled around the world giving sermons, speaking in tongues and converting thousands of people to the faith – all while wearing his trademark colourful tie-dye kaftans – became a “cult”-like church figure who was spiritually and emotionally abusing victims for decades in secret.
His victims spoke out for the first time telling how he preyed on a “conveyor belt” of young, vulnerable men and how, in the 1990s, when he began taking his mission work abroad, he “left a trail of broken, young male adults scattered all around the world”.
They claimed that Pilavachi, who was avowedly celibate, subjected them to “toxic” predatory behaviours, including psychological manipulation, bullying and “horrible cruelty”, and became obsessed with certain young men nicknamed “Pilly boys”, “Mike’s boys” or “Mike’s favourites” within the upper echelons of Soul Survivor circles.
They also told how they were encouraged to receive full-body oil massages in their underwear while being straddled by Pilavachi in his bedroom, and to engage in vigorous wrestling matches that could last as long as 20 minutes at a time – sometimes in church. One said: “I think it’s safe to say the massages went too far up the inner thigh. He was an idol of mine. Who was I to question him? I was like putty in his hands, really.”
Many victims would encounter him via the gap-year programme, Soul Time – now known as Soul61 – which trained young adults at Soul Survivor Watford, the church he founded in Hertfordshire.
Now Redman, 50, who is arguably the best-known and most influential and successful UK worship leader of his generation, has decided to reveal details of the suffering he endured as Pilavachi’s most high-profile victim, as well as his hopes for a reformed Church of England in the wake of the Soul Survivor scandal.
Along with his wife Beth, 48, he has made a documentary detailing their experiences at Soul Survivor. The couple share five children, live in California, and feel that now, one year after the allegations first came to light, is the time to speak out.
They allege that, during the many years that Redman travelled the world with Pilavachi, building a reputation as an inspirational conservative Christian double act, Redman was being subjected to abusive, inappropriate and controlling behaviour – something he says had its roots in the relationship Pilavachi formed with him when Pilavachi was a youth worker at St Andrew’s Church in Chorleywood, Hertfordshire, and Redman was 13.
Redman’s father had taken his own life when Matt was seven years old and, at the time he met Pilavachi, he says he was being sexually abused by his step-father – a crime for which the latter went to prison, with the help of Pilavachi’s intervention and guidance. This, Redman says, resulted in his “undying loyalty” to the former vicar.
“I had a really good rapport with him,” he recalls. “Honestly, he had a good rapport with everyone. He was a youth leader with a lot of humour, a warmth. We went on a weekend away as a youth group, and I was carrying a deep secret, I was actually being sexually abused. And during that weekend, I decided I would tell Mike. He helped me go to the authorities and walk that through.
“I was probably seeing him every day, I would think. And then he started to counsel me about my sexual abuse. Which, looking back, I don’t feel awesome about because he wasn’t a trained counsellor. He’d actually been an accountant just a few years before and, you know, I was telling the deepest, darkest things and he was asking me for the details of what happened. The real problematic thing to me about that is he would often wrestle me afterwards.
“Wrestling was definitely his thing. I know a lot of people who were physically wrestled by Mike, and it was quite often in a hidden room in the church or it would be around his house away from everyone and looking back, I don’t feel great about that, I didn’t feel good at the time. I thought maybe this is a youth leader trying to break the tension and it’s what youth leaders do.
“Sometimes it could go on for 20 minutes, it was like full-on wrestling. But obviously this is a youth leader. This is an adult, this is hidden away from everyone. Looking back, I really don’t feel good about it. And especially as sometimes it happened straight after we’d been talking about the details of the sexual abuse that I’d suffered.”
Pilavachi is a Greek-Cypriot immigrant. After studying at Birmingham University, he worked as an accountant at Harvey Nichols until the age of 29, before becoming a church youth worker. Redman went to school in Chorleywood and then enrolled at Southampton University, but dropped out after a year to help start the Soul Survivor Watford church and go full time as music director at St Andrew’s – and worship leader for Soul Survivor ministries. Then, in 1993 he co-founded, with Pilavachi, the Soul Survivor summer festivals which ran until 2019 in the UK.
Regularly attracting as many as 30,000 young people from all over the world, they spawned an international network of supporters, followers and influencers, with outposts in the Netherlands, South Africa, Australia, Canada, the US and New Zealand, which continue to run today.
In stark contrast to the stuffy experience of Christianity that mainstream Anglicanism was offering, the week-long festivals, mainly in Shepton Mallet, Somerset, were a magical, mystical experience, featuring religious seminars and speaking in tongues. Key leaders would be spotted at the events, including the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Justin Welby.
Soul Survivor’s popularity continued to grow, converting thousands of people to the faith at a time when Christianity was struggling to remain relevant – a success that did not go unnoticed by the upper echelons of the Church of England.
In 2016, Redman received a Lambeth Award from the Archbishop recognising his significant contribution to worship. In 2020, a similar award was given to Pilavachi for his “outstanding contribution to evangelism and discipleship among young people”. That same year, the former vicar was also appointed an MBE in the New Year Honours for his services to young people.
But while they appeared best friends on Soul Survivor stages, behind the “smiles or laughs and jokes” Pilavachi would frequently exhibit jealous and controlling behaviour towards Redman, making him suffer the “silent treatment” for months at a time, for “offending” or “upsetting” him with something as innocuous as adding an extra song to the worship list without checking.
When Redman started dating his now wife, Beth, this controlling behaviour continued. It “overshadowed [events] that should have been happy, like our engagement and wedding,” says Beth.
Pilavachi’s bullying became so intense, Beth says, that she was forced to go to her GP. “I didn’t feel like I was well. That was the
‘He would wrestle me in a hidden room... I just thought it was what youth leaders do’
impact it was having on me,” she says. “And Matt and I, we were dating still at that stage and we had gone on a date to the cinema. Mike had been calling Matt’s landline and had not been able to get hold of him. And then they sort of had a conversation like: ‘Where were you? I didn’t know where you were. You didn’t tell me.’ And then both of us were then frozen out from that point.”
Victims have said that concerns were raised about Pilavachi as early as 2002, yet nothing was done. Beth claims that a senior church member was aware of the allegations but shut people down, saying: “You’re silly boys.”
Redman says that if ever anything was mentioned to someone in authority about Pilavachi’s behaviour the phrase “That’s just Mike” would be the response.
“[There was a sense of ] he’s so funny, he’s so gifted and talented, he’s got this charismatic personality, and what you have to put up with for that, is there’s going to be this mistreatment side,” he says.
The Redmans say they know of many people struggling to come to terms with Pilavachi’s behaviour after decades, while others have received therapy, suffered trauma, PTSD and a “horrific spiritual fallout” including a total loss of faith.
In contrast to other victims, however, Redman has not lost his faith. “I think Jesus is an expert at bringing things into the light,” he says. “And I think that’s what’s happening in this whole process. I think Jesus is doing this. I think Jesus is cleaning up his church.”
As a result of The Telegraph’s investigation, more than 100 people came forward to report allegations against Pilavachi spanning 40 years. However, it is understood that this figure is now closer to 150.
The former vicar has also since been suspended and resigned. The Church’s own review concluded that safeguarding concerns relating to his leadership and ministry were substantiated and that he “used his spiritual authority to control” victims.
Church officials have since referred him to the Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) and have commissioned an independent review led by Fiona Scolding KC, which remains ongoing. The Cabinet Office and police are also under mounting pressure to remove his MBE and investigate.
A spokesman for Soul Survivor Watford said: “We recognise how painful it has been for the Redman family, and for all those who have contributed to the National Safeguarding Team investigation and Fiona Scolding’s review – they have all displayed great courage in coming forward and we are taking their reports very seriously.
“As a church we are committed to the ongoing process and implementing all of the recommendations of Fiona’s review of our culture, leadership and governance.”
Pilavachi did not respond to requests for comment.
The documentary, ‘Let There Be Light’, will be live today on Matt Redman’s YouTube channel