Daily Mail - Daily Mail Weekend Magazine
WATCH OUT WALFORD!
Bianca’s back in Albert Square
EASTENDERS
She’s the woman whose voice enters a room seconds (though it feels like minutes) before the rest of her. Yes, Bianca’s back, and Milton Keynes is but a distant memory as she settles into Walford life.
It takes no time for the foghorn to start blasting when, hearing that Zack’s gone AWOL, she heads to stepdaughter Whitney’s, demanding answers. When Zack returns and they finally talk (right), how much will he reveal about his antics?
The mind-numbing Britwhit saga dragszzz on when Whitney meets with a teacher to talk about Britney’s Usher syndrome diagnosis. After Reiss reveals that Whitney is not Britney’s mother, social services arrive to take the girl away for her own safety. Hoo-flamin’-ray – although the biggest safety issue is the injuries she might sustain at the hands of Whitney’s nails.
You think it’s all over? You’re in for a huge disappointment when Whitney and Bianca meet with Britney’s mum Keeley. Thanks to Bianca’s criticisms, Keeley reckons Britney would be better off elsewhere. Please, yes. Anywhere but here. By the way, she could get a ticket from London back to Milton Keynes for as little as £6.80 booked in advance. Just sayin’. My cheque’s in the post.
Somehow, in the middle of all this family drama, Bianca bags herself a job at the café, which is reopening following the trauma of Corpsegate. She also encourages a tearful Bernie to return to work, though it’s hard to believe it’s a job that warrants both of them. All Bernie ever does is clear away the occasional empty plate and poke her nose into other people’s conversations. Still, the one blessing in all this is that Karen is ensconced in Spain, hopefully stuffing her face with enough patatas bravas and Cava to render her incapable of fitting into an airline seat ever again.
Yolande is taking refuge in the laundrette once more (what is it with that place? It sees more action than a Catholic confessional) and, following her ordeal, is having a crisis of faith. Where’s Patrick’s rum when you need it?