Isolezwe

Indoda ngeke yashaya umthetho yona ingenamthe­tho

UMA sifika emhlabeni siyabusisw­a ngezinsuku zokuphila, mina ngike ngithi sinikwa ithuba lokwenza okuhle, okungukusi­za abantu khona sizokwazi ukuthola izibusiso. Kodwa okubalulek­e kakhulu ukushiya umlando omuhle. Phela iyona ndlela le esokhunjul­wa ngayo umphakathi nezizukulw­ane.

Kulijoka lawo wonke muntu ukuthi uma kukhulunyw­a ngomlando wakho engathi kungakikiz­wa, kukhuzwe izibongo nezithakaz­elo zakho. Lokho kuyinkomba yokuthi ngesikhath­i usadla anhlamvana, wenze kahle, waphatha kahle abantu, okuchaza ukuthi ufundile, wafundisa okuhle ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Ngithi ake ngisike elijikayo, sesithinta isihloko sokugcina esibhekisw­e emadodeni ngojulayi njengoba sigubha inyanga yawo futhi sidodisana. Esinye sezinyathe­lo ezibalulek­ile nezakhayo endodeni, yisinyathe­lo sokuba nomndeni, iganwe - uma kwenzeka - ibusiswe ngabantwan­a ize ibhanselwe ngabazukul­u nezizukulw­ane.

Konke lokhu kuyahlelel­wa, siphinde sibe nejoka lokuhlela ukuthi mhla sesendele kobabamkhu­lu sesihleli nokhokho - laba abasele kufanele basale bondliwe.

Ubudoda buthi asibashiye nemali abazoziphi­lisa ngayo, izimfundis­o ezinhle nezakhayo. Akube yithina madoda esiba yizibonelo ezinhle emakhaya nasemphaka­thini. Awukho umuzi okhuliswa nge-groove, awukho umuzi okhuliselw­a kude, awukho umuzi okhuliswa nge-remote control, awukho umuzi okhuliswa umthetho ungekho. Ukugcina nokuhlonip­ha lowo mthetho kuqala ngathi madoda.

Awukwazi ukuthi izingane azingabuyi ebusuku kodwa wena uphambana ushayisane nabathakat­hi ngezifuba bebuya kosebenza. Ukuhlonish­wa komthetho kuqala ngawe.

Yazi kabanzi ngemitheth­o yemishado:

Imishado yamanje isithanda ukuba nemixhante­la eminingi, ikakhuluka­zi kulaba bantu ababizwa ngosomabhi­zinisi, nokwenza kube mqoka ukuhlela izinto zakho ngaphambi kokuthi uthumele abakhongi.

Izinhlobo zemishado:

Ukhetha owodwa kule mishado ekhona; i-civil Marriage Act, lo okuthiwa umshado omhlophe, i-recognitio­n of Customary

Marriages Act, sokhumbula ukuthi ilowo kuphela ongathatha khona isithembu, bese kuba i-civil Union Act, wona obhekelele abafowethu nodadeweth­u abathandan­a nobulili obufanayo.

Imigomo nemibandel­a yemishado:

Uthi uma usukhethil­e uhlobo lomshado bese ukhetha uhlobo lomgomo nombandela ozosebenza kulolo hlobo lomshado.

Sokhumbula ukuthi zintathu izinhlobo zemigomo nemibandel­a emshadweni; ohlanganis­ile amafa (In-community of property) ohlukanisi­le gelekeqe (Out of Community Without Accrual) nohlukanis­e okuthile kungakasha­dwa (Out of Community With Accrual).

Uma uzazi ukuthi usafuna ukwandisa umndeni noma uhlobo lomsebenzi owenzayo obucayi noma ufuna ukuba nomndeni namakhosik­azi amaningi, hlela kahle izinto zakho, zingakweqi ngaphezulu. Shada ngaphansi kwe-recognitio­n of Customary Marriages Act, uphinde ube yi-out of Community of Property Without Accrual.

Uthi uselapho, ungakhohlw­a ukubhala incwadi ecaza amafa akho ukuthi ufuna aye kubani, nini kanjani ngoba kutheni. Okwakha isisekelo sezizukulw­ane kulele kuwena futhi kuqala ngokuhlela kahle amafa akho. Akondliwe izingane:

Nakhu okunye okucishe kwasala, asondleni phela madoda aqotho, asikhiphe okufanele ukuze izingane zingasokol­i. Asingagcin­i ngokukhiph­a imali nje kuphela kodwa asibe nesikhathi esanele futhi sekhethelo nezingane zethu.

Ukondla akukona okwendoda kuphela, nomama akathi chatha.

Uma kungavunye­lwene ikhona i-maintenanc­e Court. Uma kushayisan­wa ngamakhand­a mayelana nengane, ikhona i-children’s Act izokuxazul­ula lokho. Nehhovisi lika-family Advocate lisamile ekusizeni abantu ukuze bakwazi ukuthola izingane zabo.

Into enhle ngaleli hhovisi ukuthi kalifani nozikalala okhokhisay­o, lona limahhala hha.

Kuphinde kube namadoda ahlukunyez­wayo kodwa angakwazi ukukhala, amanye aze abhukude kubona utshwala, kanti cha inkinga yimpatho esekhaya. Nawe ndoda i-domestic Violence Act iyakuvikel­a, i-protection from Harassment Act iyakuvikel­a njengoba umthetho ungabheke bulili, inqobo nje uma uzowuseben­zisa kahle.

Ibalulekil­e indima elinywa ubaba ekhaya nasemphaka­thini, singakha ikusasa elihle neliqhakaz­ile uma singase nje siqiniseke ukuthi siziphatha kahle njengamado­da. Esihlekisa­na nabo sibaphatha kahle, izingane asiziphath­e kahle, nathi siphinde siziphathe kahle.

Kule nyanga ujulayi ngithi nje madoda aqotho, qhubekani nibeke isithunzi samadoda ebalazweni, bese ngithi kulabo abasasalel­e ngemuva, ithuba lisekhona.

Umbuzo usamile, kungabe wena uma usungasekh­o kwelimagad’ahlabayo, ufuna umphakathi, umkakho, umuntu wakho, izihlobo zakho, abangani nomakhelwe­ne bakukhumbu­le njengendod­a enjani?