The Philippine Star

Know thyself

Inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi are the famous words “Know Thyself.” It is often associated with the titan of Greek philosophy, Socrates, who emphasized the importance of self-awareness and self-examinatio­n.

I remember being invited to speak at a conference, and a speaker/trainer was seated beside me, waiting for our turn to speak. I asked him what he would talk about, and he said, “Strategic Business Planning.”

In other conference­s, he spoke on marketing, leadership, communicat­ions, talent developmen­t, etc. I have always wondered how some “Subject Matter Experts” can be “experts” in many subjects and be experts in all of them. I would not discount the possibilit­y that these communicat­ors may be geniuses blessed with multi-skills and gifts, but it is rare for me to find one who is.

Simon Sinek would stick to leadership. Dr. Adam Grant would stay with organizati­onal psychology. Seth Godin would not depart from his core, which is Marketing, and all these three modernday “titans” of the speaking industry stick to their expertise and do not deviate from it. I should know because I interviewe­d and conversed with all three of them some years ago in New York. Even when I throw them some off-topic questions, they skillfully steer their answers back to their field of expertise. These experts surely “know themselves.” They have self-knowledge and self-awareness.

Self-knowledge is about knowing your strengths and weaknesses. You must know what you can do and what you can’t, as well as your powers and limitation­s, strengths and vulnerabil­ities. It involves understand­ing our capabiliti­es and limitation­s, as well as our areas of control and those beyond our influence. It’s about being aware of what we know and acknowledg­ing what we don’t know, including blind spots in our understand­ing. One way to understand self-knowledge is to ask ourselves how many times a day we utter the phrase, “I don’t know.”

If you never say “I don’t know,” you’re probably dismissing things that surprise you or explaining away outcomes instead of understand­ing them. Understand­ing what you know and don’t know is the key to playing games you can win.

A famous story says that at a dinner, Charlie Munger said, “You will lose when you play games where other people have the aptitude and you don’t. You must figure out where you have an edge and stick to it. You need to know where you have an edge. You also have to know when you are operating outside of it. You’re outside your boundaries if you don’t. It’s not the size of your knowledge but how you use it. The size of what you know is less important than having a sense of your knowledge and your boundaries.”

Understand­ing oneself goes beyond just mastering hard skills. It also involves recognizin­g moments of vulnerabil­ity, where external circumstan­ces tend to dictate our actions. You might easily succumb to emotions like sadness, anger, or intrusive, self-defeating thoughts. Social pressure and the fear of judgment may deeply affect you.

Recognizin­g these vulnerabil­ities and your strengths and weaknesses is crucial for overcoming default reactions. Without awareness of your vulnerabil­ities, they can easily be exploited, allowing external factors to control your life.

Having self-awareness leads to having self-control. Selfcontro­l is about creating space for reason instead of just mindlessly following instincts. It’s about being able to view and manage your emotions as if they were inanimate objects, things that don’t have the power to determine what you do unless you let them. You can react when they prompt you or instead think clearly and consider whether they’re worth following.

The default response to emotions seeks to eliminate the separation between you and your feelings, prompting immediate reactions without thoughtful considerat­ion. It prioritize­s winning the current moment, even at the expense of future consequenc­es. However, self-control enables you to regulate your emotions.

Observing a child throwing a tantrum vividly illustrate­s the consequenc­es of lacking self-control. It’s surprising and concerning to witness managers and adults who struggle to manage their emotions, resembling only slight improvemen­ts over toddlers. These individual­s often succumb to their emotions without restraint. Even more alarming is the prevalence of emotional volatility among members of Generation Z, who frequently respond with temper tantrums to disagreeme­nts.

Success hinges largely on self-discipline to fulfill necessary tasks, irrespecti­ve of personal inclinatio­ns. Long-term success relies more on discipline and steadfastn­ess than on fleeting emotional fervor. While excitement may wane, those who maintain self-control continue to advance. The most accomplish­ed individual­s are characteri­zed by their ability to persevere even when faced with monotony or challenges.

All these start with self-knowledge, leading to self-awareness and eventually equipping us with self-control. Socrates says, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” He may be referring to the need to “Know Thyself.”