Lil O’Brien
Co-editor of OTHERHOOD: Essays on Being Childless, Childfree and Childadjacent, and the author of coming-out memoir Not That I’d Kiss a Girl.
“When I was about 14, 15-years-old, in 1998/1999, my friends had mostly all become boy-mad, and I found it quite infuriating how obsessed they were. I really didn’t get it. Well, turns out I'm a lesbian, so it all makes sense looking back,” says Lil O’Brien. Here she shares the “embarrassing lyrics” she wrote to popular songs at the time, such as Hooked on a Feeling which was huge in 1999 because of the TV show Ally McBeal and the dancing baby. “The lyrics were mostly about how lame their boyfriends were, although Flustered – about the things we all did to look cool and fit in – was written by two of my friends,” says O’Brien.
FLUSTERED (To the tune of Life by Des’ree)
I’m afraid of being alone, if I am I start to moan And I rush to the phone, to take some friendship out on loan My friendships are all fake, we’re only friends for coolness sake We wear pedal pushers and tight tops, at Glassons we go to shop
Flustered, oh flustered, oh flustered, oh flustered
We all go to the park, staying until it’s dark It’s cool to have a fag, next weekend I’ll try to shag, Popularity is the way, and that’s how I’ll try to stay, Coolness rules my life, once seen with dicks I’m in real strife
HOOKED ON A TUAINIE (To the tune of Hooked on a Feeling by Slider)
Ooga chaka ooga-ooga ooga chaka ooga ooga ooga-chaka
You got this crazy feeling, deep inside of you Girl, you just don’t realise, you make me want to spew His lips ain’t sweet as candy, get him off your mind Or I’ll do it for you, though you’ll whinge and whine
Please don’t hold him, in your arms so tight Give it up girl, don’t put up a fight
Oh, oh oh, oh no, you’re hooked on a Tuainie Though sleazy and slimy You’re still “in love” with him
BOOM BOOM