The Post

Plenty to check out as the first ‘Skrutz Week’ comes to an end

- James Nokise

Abit like Sir Ian McKellen falling off stage, events in New Zealand politics this week may have initially seemed dramatic, even painful, but in the end didn’t amount to much except maybe content for a humorous anecdote somewhere down the line.

“Scrutiny Week” is one of those ridiculous­ly Kiwi-sounding ideas that you bring up overseas around ex-pats, and then have to inform locals why everyone’s laughing.

“Yeah, basically mate, we just take a week and just, you know… check what’s going on.”

It’s not a bad idea, it just remains to be seen if it’s an effective idea.

“Scrutiny” also does not lend itself well to any version of the New Zealand accent. Shudder as vowels are clipped randomly within the word to come out as either “skritney”, “scrutenee” or, god help us, “skrutknee”. Should it stick, it will probably end up being known by public servants as “Skrutz Week”.

If you do find yourself feeling a little disorienta­ted from how the Government is struggling with its fumble on cancer treatment funding, who is actually the leading voice in the Opposition, or why Winston Peters is watching wild dogs run about at 3am, then take a quick peek at the rest of the world to feel instantly more sane.

The US election has had President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump agree to have one debate only, which seems an accurate metaphor for the state of that country’s politics. Independen­t candidate Robert Kennedy Jr (who unfortunat­ely for his more illustriou­s ancestors is related) has been shut out of proceeding­s.

Ostensibly Kennedy lacks both the support in the polls and the required amount of ballots in enough states. T

he fact he is famously against vaccinatio­n and would be sharing the stage with two presidents who have a combined age of 159 probably has nothing to do with it.

The UK election meanwhile continues towards what is somehow considered both a foregone conclusion and a surprising decimation of the Conservati­ve government. The shock isn’t that the Tories will be out after more than a decade of rule filled with shenanigan­s ranging from Brexit to Boris

Johnson; rather it is the voracity with which voters appear to be wanting a change.

In Scotland alone, polls currently signal a Labour landslide, with the Conservati­ves retaining only one seat. This would mean an intriguing situation for Scottish independen­ce, which is polling at over 50%, as the Labour Party has signalled no wish for a referendum. By contrast the Scottish National Party, which would find itself the majority opposition, has gathered to it MPs from across the political spectrum under the banner policy of breaking away from the UK, and possibly going back to the EU.

You could take a look at what’s happening in New Caledonia, which is physically closer to Aotearoa than a lot of people realise, mainly because it is (controvers­ially) French and therefore its rugby talent is shunted through the Northern Hemisphere. Noumea is closer to Auckland than either Suva or Apia but, without really engaging, people sometimes place it over east with French Polynesia.

There is no shame in not necessaril­y grasping the width of France’s Pacific hoardings, but doing so will help you understand how for the Paris Olympics’ surfing competitio­ns can be held in Tahiti while New Caledonia is in the early stages of revolution.

To be honest, you still might struggle with the surfing in Tahiti. Colonially, it’s a bit on the nose.

New Caledonia though, is in the midst of calls for independen­ce.

The situation is not as simple as the oppressor and the oppressed, because things can get murky when one culture colonises another for over a century. Some would argue that makes things incredibly simple.

To be fair, you might look at what is happening in France politicall­y and think a move towards the nationalis­tic right (always a tense warning bell in Europe) would make both sides enthusiast­ic for New Caledonia to severe its ties. Sadly, imperialis­m is a very strong addiction to kick.

If the rhetoric in our French-accented Pacific neighbour seems familiar to Kiwis then it probably is worth your time looking at the French attitude towards its colonies and territorie­s, and the rights those places do and do not have. Why?

Because as we go into Matariki, the attitude of “you’re a New Zealander, just be a New Zealander” seems to rear its head yet again in an almost subconscio­us response to anything positively Māori.

The “just be a New Zealander” statement might have some bite when thrown at immigrants – which it seems to happen as frequently now as in the 80s - but becomes somewhat ridiculous when applied to an indigenous people.

Why wouldn’t they feel attacked, and how exactly would you expect them to respond?

James Nokise is a regular opinion contributo­r, a comedian, writer and podcaster.

 ?? ROBERT KITCHIN/THE POST ?? Opposition MPs scrutinise the Finance Minister during Scrutiny Week. Just take care with those vowels, James Nokise pleads.
ROBERT KITCHIN/THE POST Opposition MPs scrutinise the Finance Minister during Scrutiny Week. Just take care with those vowels, James Nokise pleads.

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