The Star (Jamaica)

Boyfriend refuses to stop smoking cigarettes

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend. He is very good to me and I love him dearly.

He is twice my age, but that doesn’t bother me. When I first took him to meet my parents, the only comment that my father made to me was, “He is a big man”, and by that he meant that he was much older than me. My boyfriend is a chain-smoker. He is always smoking, and I have tried to discourage him from smoking. He takes one cigarette to light the other one. Sometimes he smokes the weed, but he mostly smokes cigarettes.

I do not smoke and neither does anybody in my family. The doctor has told him that he should try and give up smoking because that can be a cause of death. It can cause lung cancer. Why are people smoking cigarettes if they are so dangerous because of nicotine and carbon monoxide and are harmful to everyone?

My boyfriend says that he has been smoking from he was 15 and it has not hurt him. He sits and works at nights, but he has to be smoking. I told my boyfriend that he is shortening his life. He said that I might die before him and I am not a smoker. I wish for you to tell me what I can do to stop this man from smoking.

E.C.

Dear E.C.,

This man does not believe that anything negative might hurt him from smoking cigarettes.

You mentioned lung cancer, but there are other types of problems one can also get, including cancer of the mouth, the throat, pancreas, the bladder, kidney, stomach and cervix.

Your boyfriend is addicted to nicotine and that is not easy to overcome. There is always a craving for nicotine and that is one reason why no one should get into the habit of smoking.

It is not cool to smoke. Some young people think that it is very cool to do it. Some girls think that wearing skimpy shorts on a Friday or Saturday evening, and going out with friends and smoking, gives the impression that they are cool. It is fashionabl­e. Some get into smoking through peer pressure.

Your boyfriend cannot be forced to stop smoking cigarettes. He has to see the need to stop. I hope that one day your boyfriend will see that he is destroying himself if he continues to smoke. It will not be easy for him to stop, but it’s not impossible, either. Encourage your boyfriend to drink water when he is craving cigarettes. Your doctor might be able to give good suggestion­s. Talk to him about the problem your man is having.

Pastor

“He is always smoking, and I have tried to discourage him from smoking. He takes one cigarette to light the other one.”