I went to Electric Picnic in 2022 and it was a total disaster – so I promised myself I’d never go back
I’ll never forget lying on the cold ground on the last night in a roofless tent (thanks to a random person throwing a lawn chair on top of it) and rain pouring on top of me. I was thinking of ways I could try to get arrested so the guards would put me in jail, or just somewhere comfortable. Outside the tent, there was an abundance of water bottles filled with urine and the sound of rain couldn’t distract me from the number of orgasms happening in the tents around me.
I’m a woman of my word and that night I promised myself I’d never go to Electric Picnic again.
It was 2022 and it was the first Electric Picnic since 2019 due to Covid. Everyone was buzzing, all my friends were going, and it was my first time camping at the festival. As a Cavan woman, I’m used to nature, I like roaming through the long grass, the smell of the dew in the mornings and the fresh air, but there was none of that this September weekend.
Headlining acts included Megan Thee Stallion, Arctic Monkeys, Becky Hill and Snow Patrol. After two years of lockdowns, Covid tests and €9 meals, I thought this was going to be the perfect session to end the summer. I went with my partner in crime, Lisa McPhillips, “a lovely girl who is a great singer at Mass”, according to my nana.
We headed down on Friday evening, bought our cans on the way and dragged our belongings to the campsite, only to find out most of the tent space was gone.
We eventually weaselled our way in and made our way to the main stage. Between the long queues for overpriced alcoholic beverages and the wait outside the Portaloos, we eventually lost each other.
With no phone signal, I decided I’d get on a merry-go-round to get a better view of my surroundings. We reunited and went to a rave in the woods, where it felt like our eyeballs were on fire. Turns out the festival eye make-up and a shower of rain doesn’t mix well.
Finding the tent that Friday night was a mission. We thought we were clever to put a flag on our tent, but someone was more clever than us and decided to steal it.
Arriving back, it was clear our tent wasn’t as waterproof as we thought. With a weekend ahead of ‘fun festival vibes’, we ended up being a few dry outfits short to get in the spirit. It wasn’t just the clothes that were soaked, our ‘money hack snacks’ were also soggy along with our beloved toilet roll.
Electric Picnic costs €290 for a weekend ticket, obviously that doesn’t include camping gear, if you decide to buy outfits for the occasion, your transport, and any food or drink you bring. Also, you’re not allowed to bring your own drink to the stages, so there’s more money gone.
It could easily cost €100 a day if you eat three meals a day, it was probably a tenner minimum for a good feed per meal, then drinks are at least €7. There’s also charging stations for your phone that you can pay for, so it all quickly adds up.
This year, there’s a four-bed glamping experience on sale for €1,555 which includes a foam mattress, power — but only if you want to charge your phone — towels, a door mat, a lantern, and cushions. So, if you want to avoid the dirty EP experience, this is an option, but I know I’d much rather put that money into a decent holiday abroad instead of spending it in a field in Stradbally.
Many people you’d see in these types of tents probably don’t pay for them because a lot of corporations and banks are now sponsoring tents and giving people, who probably got tickets for free, a free tent on top of that. Electric Picnic has a lot of exclusivity compared to the likes of good oul’ Oxegen.
There are a number of VIP tents, drink vouchers and nice, clean bathrooms that can only be availed of by a certain few and elite influencers so even if you work your butt off to save for the experience, I find it unfair that others are going to be handed freebies while you’re trying to hover in a dirty Portaloo.
I don’t want to seem like a Karen, but I think you can get more bang for your buck at other Irish festivals if you really love outdoor concerts.
Last year, I gathered a few friends in my back garden and we had our own little festival during the first night of Electric Picnic. We put a tent up, and got a fire going along with food and drinks. Hearing the toilet flush, not having to use wipes to take our make-up off and getting into our cosy beds really proved that you don’t have to go to Electric Picnic just because you might have FOMO, your friends are going, or for Insta opportunities.