LOVE LANGUAGE
Understanding your partner’s needs can strengthen your relationship
If finding love is hard, then keeping that love alive is harder. In the subtle art of loving, communication is everything. While most people think that fights and misunderstandings are the leading grounds for breakups, wise people understand that how you handle the fight and misunderstanding is what makes and breaks a relationship. Now, in the myriad ways we express ourselves, one concept stands out: love language; a term coined by Dr. Gary Chapman. It suggests that every individual has a distinct way of giving and receiving love. Understanding each other’s love language can help a couple conceive a deeper connection and strengthen the foundation of the relationship.
Here are a few ways in which you can strengthen your relationship and define your own love language.
Words of affirmation: Imagine thisyour partner whispers ‘I love you’ to you on a date night at a romantic restaurant, followed by telling you everything they appreciate and adore about you. Now, as romantic as it sounds, it might be cringy for someone whose love language is an act of service. Therein lies the importance of understanding your partner’s love language. For those whose love language is words of affirmation, a little handwritten note saying ‘You are amazing’ or simple ‘I love you’ can mean the world. For such people, verbal expression of love is what quenches their romantic soul. Acknowledge and appreciate the efforts your partner puts into the relationship, and genuine compliments not only about their appearance but more. It can fuel their emotional well-being in turn deepening the bond.
Acts of service: ‘Actions speak louder than words’ might seem like a cliche to many, but not to a partner whose preferred love language is acts of service. For these people, saying ‘I love you’ that isn’t backed by some act of service can seem ingenuine and lazy. But it is also easy to please such people; from simply cooking up their favorite meal, or baking them a dessert, to helping out with daily chores, surprising them with the tiniest things, or any other small gesture of love can help them feel loved and valued. And once again we round back to the most important thing — figuring out each other’s love language through clear communication and of course, with time.
Quality time: Arrange for a movie night on the weekend, a date with meaningful conversation, but just a lazy day in. The key word in all of these plans is uninterrupted; without phones, or any other distractions. Just a day dedicated to the love of your life. It is not only what will make your partner happy but also help deepen the intimacy and learn more about each other.
Receiving Gifts: Let’s start with clearing up one thing- people whose love language is receiving gifts are not materialistic. It’s the effort behind picking the right gift and the thoughtfulness that resonates deeply with these people. Price tags don’t matter, but the sentiments do. An arrangement of flowers picked from the side of a road can cheer these people up as much as an expensive orchid bouquet.
Some inexpensive trinkets, some homemade cookies or cupcakes, and almost anything that holds meaning can help convey love. Understanding your partner’s preferences and surprising them with such little but thoughtful gifts can maintain the emotional connection in the long run.
Physical touch: An affectionate hug from a loved one can dissolve all the stress of the day and it is especially true when your partner’s primary language is physical touch. For them, words or actions might not communicate love as well as a peck on the cheek or holding hands; it affirms love and security better than anything else. Understanding and prioritizing physical closeness for a partner who prefers this love language is paramount in making them feel loved.
Conveying love in each other’s preferred ways evidently improves intimacy, both physical and emotional. It deepens mutual trust and the sense of security in the relationship.
(Ravi Mittal is the Founder & CEO of QuackQuack)