75 attendees seek partners at marriage event
On a recent weekend evening, around 75 men and women gathered at the Islamic Gymkhana on Marine Drive. Their mission: to find a life companion. Some were divorcees, others had not married before, but many among them had lost their spouses during the Covid-19 epidemic and were hoping to find a new partner to share their life with.
The organiser of the event, Kokan International, has a marriage bureau that helps members of the Konkani Muslim community find spouses. The event held on Saturday, was the first programme for those who lost partners in the pandemic. “After the death of their partners, they are lonely because their children do not stay with them. In many cases, the children want their parents to marry again,” said Kauser Kazi, a marriage counsellor who is a member of the women’s group that runs the marriage bureau.
One of the aims of the programme was to break the social taboo that stops women in the community from remarrying. There is no restriction on remarriage in Islam, but women are reluctant to remarry, said Vardah Roghay, a former teacher and a member of the group.
“If a spouse dies, the obligation ends and you are free to enter into another marital contract. For men there are options, but there is inhibition among women because they are worried about being judged by society,” said Roghay. “We wanted to break that taboo and I think we got the message across,” said Rayeka Bandukwala, another member of the committee.
At the weekend’s programme, the participants ranged from a 35 year-old woman doctor to a 73-yearold former businessman who lived alone in a large apartment. “His children are well settled and live separately. He wanted a companion,” said
Shaheen Kazi, a member of the women’s group.
Kazi added that the disintegration of multi-generation families means that more and more senior members of the community live in one-person households. “Children should take care of ageing parents, but in the present scenario, parents do not want to impose themselves on their children. This means that people who are not living with their children are suddenly left alone when the spouse passes away,” said Kazi. The event, ‘Kokan International Wedding Meet Up’ was meant to help people over forty years find partners.