Woman stronger after counselling
SHE once lived in a toxic relationship that affected her mental health and the relationship with her child. Her felt she was taken advantage of by her partner and this made her feel very depressed and exhausted.
The constant emotional abuse that she went through left her feeling isolated.
She was so depressed that she struggled to perform her daily tasks. This further strained the bond she shared with her child.
It was early this year when depression took its toll on her and prompted her to seek help at a hospital in Suva.
Doctors at the hospital assessed her situation and referred her to Empower Pacific for counselling support.
The referral was made under the long-term partnership the NGO has with the Ministry of Health & Medical Services.
The partnership looks at a collaborative approach in providing holistic care to people for their mental health and psychosocial well-being.
The woman, whom we shall call client, was assisted by Empower Pacific’s Suva branch counsellor, Timaima Delai.
She is in her 30s and her son is three years old.
Ms Delai found out that the client was feeling overwhelmed, very depressed, hopeless, misunderstood, and had lost her self-esteem due to the toxic relationship she had been in.
The client said that before accessing counselling support, she had come out of a toxic relationship and was unable to regulate her emotions.
She felt like a failure to her child and had very poor support because she had shut herself from everyone who were initially there for her.
Furthermore, she felt isolated, disconnected from others, convinced that no one understood her situation and believed seeking support would be pointless.
The client said she now has been attending counselling sessions for the past five months and felt more empowered and resilient now. She was also rebuilding her self-esteem and confidence.
“I realised that as a mother, I need to be emotionally, mentally and physically stable to effectively care for my child and fulfil my responsibilities,” she said.
“This realisation has motivated me to prioritise my mental health and wellbeing.”
The client said she felt encouraged to build on her support network of friends and family who could provide emotional and practical support to her.
She also said she was grateful for the counselling support she was receiving as it had taught her a lot and given her the strength and ability to regain control of her life.
Ms Delai said the initial sessions focused on building trust and understanding the depth of the client’s emotional turmoil.
She helped identify and validate the client’s feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, and encouraged her to express her emotions through journaling to release her pent-up feelings.
“The client was educated about the dynamics of toxic relationships and the effects of emotional abuse,” she said.
“Techniques were introduced to challenge and change her negative thought patterns, and she was encouraged to reframe her thoughts about herself, fostering self-compassion and self- worth.”
Ms Delai guided the client through exercises to rebuild her self-esteem and confidence, setting small achievable goals to restore a sense of accomplishment and control over her life.
“The client was supported in developing effective communication skills and strategies to reconnect emotionally with her child.
“Mother-child activities were incorporated to rebuild trust and strengthen their bond.
“She was told to practice selfcare, including regular exercise, eating healthy food and mindfulness techniques.
The client has seen significant improvements to her mental health and relationship with her child.
“She ended her toxic relationship and embraced a newfound sense of freedom and self- worth.
“She found relief from depression as she developed healthier coping strategies and established a strong support system.”
Ms Delai said the client’s relationship with her child blossomed as they reconnected.
She said the client’s journey shed light on her resilience and the effectiveness of therapeutic intervention.
“She emerged from her struggles with a renewed sense of purpose, ready to embrace a brighter future for herself and her child,” she said.
The client said she wanted other people in similar situations, who were feeling isolated or struggled with their mental health to know about what she went through and her road to recovery.
She said there was hope and support available via counselling from organisations like Empower Pacific.
She encouraged other people in need to reach out and talk to a professional counsellor in order to receive the support they needed and navigate through life’s challenges.
Empower Pacific focuses on providing counselling to people whose mental health has been affected due to problems they face in their lives, as well as social work services.
People in need of assistance for problems affecting their mental health can call the NGO’s 24/7 toll-free counselling helpline 5626, which is supported by New Zealand's Ministry of Foreign Affairs & Trade, and talk to a counsellor.