Some conversations can look more like an interrogation
DEAR ABBY: I appreciate you offering your booklet, How to Be Popular, to people who are uncomfortable or uncertain in social situations.
I don't know if the following tips are included, but here's what I do: When I meet someone for the first time, I say, “Tell me three things about yourself that you would like to share.”
As I listen to the response, I think of the “W” words — who, what, when, where and why.
Then, for elaboration, I ask one of those questions, or perhaps more, a few minutes later.
I hope these suggestions are helpful.
— BOB W. IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR BOB: Showing an interest in others is generally a good idea.
However, some people might find your direct approach intimidating if it's a conversation starter with no preamble.
Asking who, what, when, where and why can be useful in conversation, as it also is when writing a news article.
Making social conversation doesn't come naturally to everyone.
Few individuals are adept at it because they're so focused on their own insecurities that it distracts them from reaching out.
It can, however, be practised and polished until it becomes second nature.
How To Be Popular contains many useful tips for accomplishing this.
It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a cheque or money order for $8 US to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.
Shipping and handling are included in the price.
It's meant for people of all ages and covers a variety of situations.
The keys to being socially successful are: Be kind. Be honest. Be tactful.
Offer a compliment if you think it's deserved.
Be a good listener, and people will think you're a genius. (It's true!)
And remember, a smile is an excellent icebreaker because it puts those around you at ease.