Wife punished for suffering panic attacks
I am a 63-year-old woman who has been married for 45 years to a wonderful man.
We've been blessed with a great relationship but the last two years I've developed a phobia about riding or driving a car on the highway.
This angers my husband immensely. He tells me “I'm crazy” and that I need to “pull up my big girl panties.” He's also called me some vile names.
I know it's irrational and I can't understand why it is happening. He's now threatening to sell my car, even though I have no trouble driving to the store, doctor's office, hair salon, etc.
I don't have insurance that covers mental health issues, and I've priced counsellors, but frankly we can't afford it as we are retired and on a limited budget.
My doctor doesn't want to put me on anxiety meds as she believes they are addictive and suggests I “just breathe” to combat this. Any suggestions?
Rough Road
Dear Rough Road: It's possible your husband's abusive language and behaviour is making your anxiety worse.
Anxiety latches on to anything that it can, so perhaps there's something else you're struggling with and it's showing up in the car.
Regardless, your husband should be supporting you, not calling you names. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, Thehotline.org, can point you to local resources for relief from the way your husband is treating you. Just because he doesn't understand what's happening to you, doesn't mean it's not happening.
His behaviour is what's irrational; you're approaching this situation with concern and a solution-focused mindset.
Don't let him touch your car keys.
Also, please get a second medical opinion about the anxiety medication. Many doctors would disagree with your doctor's views.