Some conversations are like interrogations
Dear Abby: I appreciate you offering your booklet How to Be Popular to people who are uncomfortable or uncertain in social situations.
I don't know if the following tips are included, but here's what I do: When I meet someone for the first time, I say, “Tell me three things about yourself that you would like to share.”
As I listen to the response, I think of the “W” words — who, what, when, where and why. Then, for elaboration, I ask one of those questions, or perhaps more, a few minutes later. I hope these suggestions are helpful.
Bob in North Carolina
Dear Bob: Showing an interest in others is generally a good idea. However, some people might find your direct approach intimidating if it's a conversation starter with no preamble. Asking who, what, when, where and why can be useful in conversation, as it also is when writing a news article. Making social conversation doesn't come naturally to everyone. Few individuals are adept at it because they are so focused on their own insecurities that it distracts them from reaching out. It can, however, be practised until it becomes second nature.
The keys to being socially successful are: Be kind; be honest; be tactful. Be a good listener, and people will think you are a genius. And remember, a smile is an excellent icebreaker.